The Top Ten Things You Should NOT Do When You Lose Your Job.

# 10 - Do not spend your days at home applying to jobs on the Internet.  If you want to find a new job you need to get out of the house and connect with people.  Build relationships, volunteer your time, and meet others for coffee or lunch.  Even a walk in the park can be an opportunity to make meaningful connections.  Sending an email does not cut it when you are trying to set yourself apart and get hired. #9 - Do not send sloppy email to anyone. You never know who will forward your email to a prospective employer.  Even if you are sending an email to your uncle, cousin, recruiter or neighbor check your spelling, your grammar and keep it positive.  Everything you write from now on should ooze professionalism.  I have seen people summarize their job experience to recruiters with typos and too much information about what they will not do and how much money they must make.  All I can say is T.M.I. (too much information) will not help you!  Keep your email positive and always consider how you will feel if they are forwarded along with a note about what a wonderful candidate you would be for a certain job or company. #8 - Do not complain about your current situation and play the blame game. Discussing what isn't working for you will not get you a job.  Talk about what is working for you.  The good things that are happening.  This will make you so much more desirable as a potential employee.  It will also get you more referrals and job leads.  Nobody needs to or wants to hire someone who blames others for their job loss and current employment situation. #7 - Do not keep your job loss and job search a secret. So many people don't want to tell certain friends or neighbors that they lost their job because they will "look bad" or "they can't possibly help because they don't work in my field."  My favorite is the person who won't tell any of the parents at their child's school or on their child's soccer team because then their child will find out that they don't have a job and/or the other kids will make fun of them.  By keeping your job search a secret you are missing valuable networking opportunities and you are probably missing many job leads.  Wouldn't you want to help a neighbor or fellow parent if they lost their job?  Speak up and work all of your networks - even the parent network. #6 - Don't spend your time telling people what you won't do, what won't work and what you must have in a new job.  When you set your line in the sand you are boxing yourself out of many opportunities and limiting yourself in many ways.  It is not very pleasant to try to help someone who shoots down every job idea that you share with them because they have only one thing that they want to do for a certain amount of money in a specific location.  Discuss what you will do, all of the things you love to do and everything that you are good at doing.  Share all that you have to offer and keep it positive.  #5 - Don't network with the intention of getting help from a person without considering what you will give to them. So many people neglected their networks when they were gainfully employed.  They didn't return the calls of old colleagues because they didn't need anything from them.  They didn't maintain relationships and they didn't go out of their way to help others in their field.  Once they are in the job market they think that everyone will magically open their arms and help them.  They call all of the people they didn't have time to speak with when they were working and they are surprised when they don't get tons of job leads.  To network successfully it must be a give and take relationship.  If you let your network slide when you were employed now is the time to reconnect by finding ways to help others.   Share articles and information that is helpful.  Demonstrate your value and your desire to give support, as well as receive it.  Whatever you share can be forwarded to others - so don't forget tip # 9! #4 - Don't spend your days focusing on the doom and gloom. You can read the newspapers and highlight the articles about job losses and unemployment or you can cut out the articles about companies that are growing, adding new products and optimistic about the future.  You can enjoy reading the articles about job seekers who found new opportunities or began their own businesses.  Hang out with people who look at the bright side of things, the people who always have new ideas and are willing to support you in a positive way.  Steer clear of the energy vampires who only get you to focus on the negative and cause you to get a pit in your stomach. #3 - Don't let leads wait until the next day. I can't tell you how many people get excited about a new job lead or contact and just stop there....they just tell me about it.  They never make the connection.  Why you may ask?  They either didn't have time, tried once and never heard back, didn't think anything would come of it so they didn't want to waste their time.  Letting leads wait until the next day means that someone else is jumping in front of you by striking while the iron is hot.  Your job search is your job - so make the time and go the extra mile by following up on every lead. #2 Don't let each day roll into the next day without marking your progress. Take time at the end of each day to track your accomplishments and create your to do list for the next day.  You need an action plan with action steps if you want to find a new job quickly.   Write down everything you plan to do each day.  Include calls you plan to make, letters you want to write, and people you are going to see.  Cross things off your list as you accomplish them and add new things that will enhance your job search on a daily basis. #1 - Don't keep telling yourself that you will never find a job in this job market. People are getting hired every day.  There may not be as many job openings as there once were, but companies do need to stay competitive and people do leave their jobs for many reasons so remember that there are job opportunities out there.  It only takes one job offer to get you back to work.  If you keep talking yourself out of the possibility that you will be the one who gets hired over the competition - then you will not get hired.  Stay positive and keep trying.   Remember as Wayne Gretsky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take" so keep on shooting!

Are your beliefs holding you back from achieving your goals and experiencing success?

Self Limiting Beliefs

Self limiting beliefs hold us back from achieving success.  Think about cartoons you have seen where there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder.  A self limiting belief (SLB) comes from a place of negativity, it is the “devil” sitting on your shoulder.  Too often we let the negative thoughts take over and essentially keep us from taking bold steps and stretching ourselves outside our comfort zone.

An SLB is essentially a lie that you tell yourself.  It is an assumption that you have included as part of your life story regardless of whether there is proof that it is true.  They cause you to create self imposed limits.  For example, if you have been downsized you can tell yourself that the company “made a huge mistake by letting me go, but they must have picked me for a reason.”  You can take that thought and work it over until you turn it into a statement such as, “I must have done something wrong because they eliminated my position.” 

Another self limiting belief is “I’m too old to change careers, nobody will hire somebody with my skills at my age” or “nobody is hiring recent graduates like me because I don’t have any experience.”   It is easy to believe these types of statements as facts when you repeat them over and over to yourself and to anybody who will listen.

I challenge you to take time to identify your SLB’s.  Once you are able to catch yourself repeating a negative statement write it down, then list all of the supporting evidence that “proves” your assumption. 

What has led you to believe that the statement is true?  Did you learn that you were not a quick learner when you were in school?  Did somebody tell you that people under thirty and over 35 never get hired?

Once you have identified one of your SLB’s and the “proof” behind it, you can begin to shift your thinking.  Coaching can help facilitate the shift, but you can also take steps to alter your thought process independently.  Ask yourself:

1.   Is my SLB is helping me achieve my goals?

2.   Is my SLB a productive belief?

3.   Is believing that I can’t do, achieve, or try something before I have really tried counterproductive?

4.   Is it possible that my SLB is false?   
5.  Is fear the reason I have created my SLB

What would our lives be like today if Einstein shut himself down before he introduced the theory of relativity or Edison believed that electricity was useless?

Consider this,

·        It is up to you to make something possible.

·        It is up to you to alter your SLB’s and revise what you are willing to do to achieve your goals.

·        It is up to you to reframe your thoughts and actions so that you are willing to move outside your comfort zone. 

If you want to eliminate your SLB you need to take productive action.  You need to

1.   start doing things that will help you explore new possibilities

2.   talk to people who can support your success and encourage you to take action

3.   Explore many options that will enable you to explore alternate outcomes.

Success takes time and effort.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen if you take action and believe in positive possibilities.   It is up to you to take responsibility for your success.  It is up to you to overturn your SLB’s.   Most of them are “stories” we tell ourselves as a way to protect ourselves from failure.  There are always exceptions to the “rules” that we create for ourselves.

I challenge you to change your patterns, alter your perspective and revise your negative thoughts into something positive. 

It is Never Too Late to Get the Most Out or Your Professional Life

 Inaugural Blog Post

By Lisa Silvershein, Certified Master Coach

www.arkcareercoaching.com

As I work with clients during all phases of their careers I frequently hear them sell themselves short.  They send negative messages and create reasons why they can’t try a new career path, seek a desired job or move forward professionally.

“I just graduated and I don’t have as much experience as other people.”

“I have too much experience, companies only hire young people.”

“I’m too old to learn something new and make a career change.”

“Nobody will give me a chance because I don’t have the right experience.”

I can go on and on creating excuses that cause people to hold themselves back from doing what they REALLY want to do.  Take a moment and think about the reason you haven’t tried to take action toward working in a job that makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied at the end of the day.

It is never too late to reflect upon your values, strengths and dreams that are deep in your heart.  You may have pushed them aside because someone told you that you will never make enough money, it is too difficult to break into the field or it takes too long to learn the skills needed to be successful.   If you ignore your dreams you will still wake up years from now wondering what might have happened if you had followed your dreams.

Consider how some people have taken charge of their careers and taken risks to do what makes them happy.

E.O. went to an Ivy League school and majored in business because her family encouraged her to work on Wall Street and make a lot of money.  Her first job after graduation was with a top bank/brokerage house and she had an extremely generous starting salary.  After one year she realized that she was stressed out all of the time and did not enjoy her job.  She had to ask herself what was truly important to her, making a ton of money quickly or feeling fulfilled on a daily basis.  She had always wanted to be a coach and teacher.   After much reflection she decided to “disappoint” her family and became a teacher/coach.

K.H. was a Board Certified Physician in Emergency Medicine.  She was the primary breadwinner and had two young children.  She came to me when she realized that she disliked the field of emergency medicine.  She enjoyed being a physician, but wanted to change her expertise.  She took the plunge and decided to become Board Certified in Bariatric Medicine and ultimately opened her own medical weight loss business.  The whole process took less than two years.  She could have talked herself out of starting over and studying a new medical specialty, and opening her own business, but she decided to follow her dream.

H.B. was a college professor and musician.  He enjoyed the creative freedom that his career provided, but after having his first child in his late forties he decided that he had more to give to the world.   He became interested in becoming a doctor after taking his son for both sick and well visits to their family physician.  He decided to take the MCATs, enrolled in medical school and graduated when he was fifty one years old.   He will be the first to tell you that he would have turned fifty regardless of whether he had decided to pursue his dream, but he would have felt unfulfilled.  By becoming a physician he is able to live his dream and work in his desired profession for ten to twenty years.  

Career transitions and changes are rarely easy, but they are certainly possible.  

 It is important to:

1.       Be strategic

2.       Clearly define your goal

3.       Surround yourself with supportive friends, family and professionals

4.       Do your research and plot your strategy

5.       Take it one step at a time

6.       Keep your eye on your goal

Whether you are changing careers because you lost your job, your field of work is shrinking or you feel unsatisfied, you deserve to follow your dreams.  Ark Career Coaching will support you and motivate you as you tackle your new career adventure!

As The 19th Century novelist George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."